What can it depend on, according to which type of energy flows in a person?
1. On the harmony between parents.
Rabbi Yoel Schwartz writes in his book “Secrets of a Happy Marriage” (p. 9): [Page number may be incorrect: I don't know the page in the English translation, if it exists! — Daniel Alievsky] “Also Kabbalah teaches a very important thing, that each of the intimacies between a man and woman, even if a child was not conceived from it, still gives birth to spiritual forces that are a (specific) kind of soul.” [It could be incorrect: I didn't find this book in English! — Daniel Alievsky] First, let's consider a variant where intimacy was crowned by conceiving a child (a more detailed analysis of the rabbi Y. Schwartz's sentence will be given below). The rabbi's words can be understood in the following way. As physical intimacy joins a spermatozoon and an ovum and thus lays the foundation for development, so the accompanying emotional and energetic contact lays foundation of the energy profile of a future person. Are you familiar with the expression “fruit of love?” It means that a person, born in harmony (referring to the moment of conception and beyond), is a bearer of this harmony, thereby is exciting an intuitive sympathy among his surroundings. The Torah teaches that there are kinds of intimate relationships that can give rise to types of handicaps, which will not be blotted out from the descendants of many generations to come. I'll give only two examples: incest and illegitimate children (this subject can be studied more completely from the Torah). Incest is an intimate relationships between close relatives, forbidden by the Torah. The story of the two daughters of Lot, who became pregnant by their father can be an example of incest (and with pure intentions). The nations Amon and Moab came from them. An illegitimate child (mamzer) is someone born by a married woman from another man. This is what Torah commands Jews. “A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever” (Deuteronomy 23:2–3). The sages taught (Talmud Yevamos, 76a) that the expression “enter into the congregation” means a permission to enter into a marriage with them. Of course, these people are not guilty that they were born like that, but even more their potential spouses are not guilty...
2. On the season of birth.
Really, much is laid at the moment of conception, but it's possible to talk about “a full-fledged human” only after the birth. The Talmud teaches these things by reviewing painful issues concerning life and death. until what moment in a difficult childbirth is it permissible to end a fetus' life in order to save the mother (Rashi on Sanhedrin 72b)? Should a delay be provided for the period of childbirth of a pregnant woman, condemned to death by a court decision (Arachin 1:4; Tosephta, ibid (1:4), the Babylonian Talmud at the same place, 7a; see also Nazir, 51a). In the discussed context, the words of the sages (especially Rashi, who believed we cannot yet talk about Nefesh before the head comes into the world) can be interpreted as follows. The fetus is like a part of the mother in the her womb. During this period, his relationship with the outside world on the physical, energetic and emotional level are carried out only through the mother. From the moment of birth, his relationship with the outside world becomes direct, which means from that moment a person becomes directly affected by external forces. We can recall here such seasons as Cold, Hot, and Temperate, and all that “Sepher Yetzirah” says in this regard.
3. On the initial thought at the moment of meeting.
Let's recall that, according to Maharitz, אמ"ש can work vertically. Now let's try to correlate this model with another model, used in the book “Nefesh HaChaim,” namely:
Sehel (שכל: intelligence) — Regesh (רגש: feelings, emotions) — Guf (גוף: body).
We come to the following correspondences:
ש — ראש (“rosh,” head) — שכל — intelligence, logic, calculation;
א — רויה (“ruah”) — רגש — emotional attraction;
מ — בטן (“beten,” belly) — גוף — physical (sexual) attraction.
The sequence of inner experiences of the person himself depends on a “letter,” from which the attraction to a partner begins, and the harmony of the following relationships depends on the mutual correspondence of the scenarios. Let me remind that there are only six scenarios (three for the male sex and three for the female) and their combinations. The reader can easily complete the details himself.
Note. Here it is useful to recall that Jewish tradition gives preference to an introduction with an assistance of a third person before an accidental encounter. Such an introduction supposes the possibility of preparation for the crucial meeting, which is absent when a meeting is by accident.
4. On the first intimacy.
Let's start the conversation with a seeming contradiction in the Tanakh. Intimate relationships are not considered as sin themselves, yet virgins (man and woman) stand as symbols of purity and chastity. To resolve this contradiction, let's suppose that the energy circulates in a circle before the first intimacy, like in Adam before the division into man and woman. A tendency to a certain flow of energy is already beginning to appear in the period between pubescence and the first intimacy under the influence of the listed factors, but it is still not final. It is the first intimacy that breaks the circle of energy and from that moment the person is no longer self-sufficient in terms of energy, and one of the types of energy movement, described in “Sepher Yetzirah,” is fixed in him/her. The Scriptures hints at this to us, speaking of the foremother Rivka, “...a virgin, neither had any man known her” (Genesis 24:16). Here is Rashi's commentary to this sentence. “‘A virgin’: at her maidenhood (ממקום בתולים); ‘neither had any man known her’: [she had no] unnatural relations (שלא כדרכה). Since the gentile maidens guard their maidenhood and are promiscuous in unnatural ways (ממקום אחר), Scripture therefore testifies about her that she was innocent of all this.” We can conclude from Rashi's words, that intimacy, even with preserving the hymen, changes the state of energy in the organism. A lot of factors affect a person at that moment: environment, energy of the partner, personal spirits, etc. And afterwards the person carries the given energy “impress“ for life. And after this it is very difficult for then to hope to find another partner to match them energy-wise.
Probably the knowledge of these things can explain the fact, that the forefather Avraham sent a caravan for Rivka even despite the fact that Rivka's family worshiped idols, and did not take a bride for his son from the daughters of Lot, a nephew of Avraham, who was one of the few monotheists at that time. Hence, it is easier to correct an outlook on the world than it is to correct the flow of energy.
I have listed four answers to the formulated question in this chapter. Which one is more important, and which is less? I do not know, but I think that it is more important to know the answer to the following question.